Tip 255: Letter to 1 year old Haruka

Dear my darling Haruka,

I still remember the first few seconds of your entry into this world. After papa carried you from the midwife's arms, you stopped crying when you heard papa sing "Happy Birthday to you". Your eyes begin to circle the surroundings. I was not sure if you could actually see as most babies' vision are usually blur. Yet, you actually made an attempt to explore. You may find the tune and voice familiar since papa has been singing the same song, while you were in mama's womb. Or you may notice the difference between being in the womb and being in open air. That moment of seeing you so alert in your first few minutes, gave papa a sign that you are an intelligent, perceptive child, a blessing from God. It made all of papa's hard work and preparation in the past 9 months before your birth worthwhile. It was papa's first time being a daddy and God answered my prayer that you are easy to take care of and is constantly patient to teach papa the meaning of parenting.

It was a pleasure to be home to watch you grow more clever each day. It took away daddy's stress of working in Tokyo. When I spent time to try out new games and nursery rhymes with you even at a young age of under 1 year old, you responded well. You became daddy's new companion and made daddy's sacrifices worthwhile. Daddy enjoyed thinking of new role plays to stimulate your curiosity. Each time it works as you have a deep desire to learn and possess strong observation skills. Whenever daddy has the opportunity to be back home early, daddy enjoyed going out on walks with you at the Japanese neighborhood to watch the birds and other pets. At a young age, you observe quickly the different moving objects and read the environment effectively. This inspired daddy to be a passionate daddy to continue his role to observe your learning and to try out new parenting tips. It is the very reason why this blog was created, which is to reflect on every new discovery I made with you.

Life is so much more meaningful as I watch life at a

closer distance. As I see you grow and blossom in beauty and intelligence, I am full of marvel at how precious life is. I thank God for reminding me this at the beginning of my career and role as a daddy. A wise Japanese colleague advised that I should not miss this opportunity to watch you grow from a young baby into the 1 year old girl you became. Every step you made brought excitement to daddy. It is the thought that one day, you will become someone intelligent and important, much more than daddy. I was so impressed at your gift of languages. At a young age, you listened attentively even before age one. Daddy's investment of time in speaking bilingually in both Japanese and English with you paid off. One day, you will master many languages and charm the world with your insights and ability to build bridges with different individuals and cultures. Your acceptance of daddy is a great start in becoming that special person you were meant to be. Continue to demonstrate your perceptive understanding with patience, love abundantly and cherish all the good memories you have. When you smile at these memories, your life will shine like a bright star to others. Love, Papa.

(Photos show Haruka's 1 year old studio photos. Daddy cutting his first umbilical cord. While daddy has cut the umbilical cords of all his children, it was only in Japan in this midwife's clinic that there were two midwives available. One of them was patient to take off her glove and snap this wonderful photo of you Haruka.)

Tip 254: Letter to 1 year old Sayaka

Dear my darling Sayaka,

It is daddy's life great moments to witness your one year of innocent joyful embrace of

life as a baby. You were always brimming with zest right from the start. You enjoyed daddy's early exercises with you as an infant. You looked

forward to the burst of energy jumping or springing yourself to new forms of action. Yet, you had always given daddy and mummy the assurance that you knew what you were doing. You never outstretched yourself to unreasonable danger. You would consciously reduce your energy levels at the right time and rest when you had to. Yet, whenever possible, you never failed to leave a cheerful smile. Your generosity to cheer others was an encouragement to daddy. It is your natural instinct to want to display the light that God has put in you. Please never ever hide it as that is the special light of joy.

Daddy was blessed each day to hear your shouts of joy each time daddy was back from a long day's of work. As you begin to learn to crawl and walk, you would even spring towards the door to greet daddy. You express yourself through a natural spring of unquenchable joy. Oh how, I pray that this reservoir has unlimited capacity and be maintained for the many years to come and not be polluted by life's stress and pain. You give daddy so many generous unreserved hugs that daddy cherish so much. When daddy is busy working, you would come to daddy with your cheerful shout and give a hug to me. I will keep these fond memories forever.

Daddy began to notice your keen interest to want daddy to read a book to you. You would make the effort to bring a book to daddy. If you want something, you would not hesitate to point it out to daddy when you have learnt the art of pointing and nodding as daddy first showed you. You felt satisfied when you got to express yourself and someone dear to you understood you.

Right from birth, your eyes twinkled and you waved a sign of peace. I am thankful that you are a gift from God as you were easy to take care of. You had no trouble sleeping or eating. You received whatever given to you with open hands. If you continue this trait of being content and being joyful always, you will be able to seize life with all its glory and explore the beauties that God has in store for you. Please do not give up. Please do not get discouraged. I am very confident you will one day learn to master it at any age and truly be a master of the life God has intended for you. Love, Papa.

(Photos show Sayaka at her 1 year old photo taking session).

Tip 253: Thinking about Investing

I previously blogged about investing by coining 2 different acronyms: R.I.C.H. (relates to the general principles in making successful decisions)

and I.N.V.E.S.T (relates to the investment concepts we should be aware when deciding on various options)

.The above covers both a guiding compass and a technical manual which is sufficient for me to start investing. But each of us are different and maybe many others do not jump into investing as easily as me (which can be good sometimes).

A friend on Facebook asked me about my thoughts on investing and how I go about deciding on investments. Yes, there is a gap between where you are at now, and when you finally hold a compass and use a manual in your treks at the investment jungle.

Yet, it is not very different from a decision to start a fitness exercise plan for example, or even the decision to look for a job rather than stay at home to watch TV. It seems hard when we have little information, or feel less confident since we assume a difficult hurdle lies ahead of

us, or assume it takes too much time getting involved and decided to have the easy way out, of not doing anything.

Like keeping fit, investments are necessary. I want to urge you to think deeper about the value of your savings in the next 15 years. Investment does not entail taking huge risks. It merely requires investing time in thinking about your future. As you have asked that question and wondered if you have done enough in investing, the next step is to sit down one weekend or one quiet evening to draw up a fitness plan for your money and earnings.

Ask yourself if you are saving enough? Are you

you diversifying some of that savings into more risky yet higher returns? Would you want to start building up savings to purchase a property and how much percentage of your investment portfolio ought to be in property?

Do you need money for the next 5-15 years and if that savings can be put aside for more risky investment plans that invest in equity?

You are the master of your own future. Even if you are married, you need to set aside an individual plan that TAKES CARE OF YOU. It is best you gather some thoughts even before meeting a financial planner, so you can be sure of what suits you best. Be sure not to be

lured into making large investments that are not diversified.

You may want to consider both a rabbit hunt and an elephant hunt. A rabbit hunt is a regular, daily, weekly or monthly affair where you bring food to the table. This can be interest gained from local or foreign deposits, rent, dividends from stable equities or short term trading profit. You get investment returns regularly to know your money is working for you. Even if your other investments fail, you have a steady plan that would not make you rich, but sufficient for the next few years.

An elephant hunt is a once a year or once every 5-15 years occasion where you celebrate in a feast for the successful sale of a property, a business, a long term regular savings plan or equities you bought at very cheap prices as you know their hidden potential in reaping a large gain such as holding on to Apple stocks at USD12 for 20 years till it holds an exorbitant value of USD490. You should plan for both a tactical short term fitness regime for your savings, as well as a long term strategic plan.

Next, reflect and keep a diary. Do not make impulsive decisions. Make investing a beautiful experience like any other activity that you pursue. By attributing more meaning and thoughts to each action, you appreciate the activity more. When you enjoy learning and participating in your investment decisions, you begin to get better at it. Write down what you purchased, why you purchased it or even take a photo of your initial investment plan or equity purchased. Make it a personal and meaningful activity rather than a click of a mouse of an investment transaction. Like all things, when you give it some thought, you put your heart, soul and mind into it, you gain fruits from the toil of your labor.

This may seem common sense principles, but the first step is to think and then act. Then, you begin to get more experience and begin appreciating the use of your own compass and manuals that you begin to discover along the way. Happy investing! Happy dragon year 2012 to all my friends and loyal blog readers!

(Photos show me being the top 5 participants in a ballroom of more than 1000 Singaporeans who won an autographed book from New Yorker Dr. Alexander Elder in his investment seminar. Also photos of my daughters in Tokyo, at their previous favorite playgroup at Kagurazaka and at Shinjuku Isetan and a Japanese bookstore. Also Sayaka's 1 year old birthday at Pizzeria Mozza. Also a video featuring Sayaka's joy in learning to enter a block.).

Tip 252: Eat a work of art

As I enter Tanjung Pagar Complex, a hawker center in Singapore, even from a distance I can hear the sound of wok clanging. It is however but from one stall that echoes through the whole complex.

The cook is dedicated to ensure every single strand of noodle of his char kway teow dish is fried evenly as he tosses and turns the noodles. Even when there is a long queue of customers, it does not stop him from concentrating on his craft on each and every plate cooked to perfection. He does not believe in cooking a few dishes together in one wok, even when the wok is large enough or if certain customers order the same dish.

While I am unsure if this is the best char kway teow stall in Singapore, I certainly appreciate every ounce of dedication put into the noodles. The blend of prawns, oil, egg, Chinese sausage and chili absorbs evenly into the noodles, together with a simmer of lime makes it just right for my palate - the umami after taste. For SGD2.50 a dish, his passion is beyond monetary value.

Another place I enjoy appreciating a work of fine craftsmanship in food is at the Jalan Berseh Ice Kachang (shaved ice) stall. The owner is a humble man who does not believe in placing awards at his stall, even when he has a steady flow of customers when he starts opening the stall at noon. He has a winning ice shaver machine that shaves the finest ice I have ever tasted. If I could be his consultant, I will re-brand his SGD1.20 ice kachang to Snow Ice delights and charge double or triple the price as its a differentiator from the rest :)

But, again the best dishes do not depend on a wok or a machine. The attention to detail rest in how his hand churns the bowl to precisely capture the shaved ice and how he garnishes this dessert with the right amount of milk, syrup and other condiments such as corn, red beans, kidney beans and attap chee.

After a few visits, I was curious on the secret of the distinct aromatic taste of the syrup. It has the right level of sweetness and a natural taste to it. I enquired from the owner and he said he does not buy it from suppliers, but makes the syrup from natural ingredients. This must be the reason many customers can taste the difference and even after the lunch time crowd leaves, this is the only dessert stall that never stops churning its machine.

Only between 5-8pm, I can get this refreshing desert quick enough to relieve the stress of work. As I ponder upon such excellent workmanship, I aspire to plan for my next day’s work with hopefully the same rigor, passion and drive to excellence and craftsmanship as these two cooks.

(Top photo is the Penang Style variant while second is black sauce Seafood Char Kway Teow from second floor of Tanjung Pagar Complex on top of the market. Next is the ice kachang at Jalan Berseh Food Center. Sayaka's first swimming pool experience was during her first church camp held at Palm Resort Le Grandeur Hotel, Senai Johor).

Tip 251: Chiropractic for kids

I was joining my wife with the kids for her regular visit to the chiropractor. Then, I decided to have a chat with the chiropractor about my kids and thought of seeking his view about kid's balance and athletic nature.

Previously, I wrote about Haruka being less athletic and in my observations, I try to encourage her to be more active by running with her.

She received her pre-school report card about her physical education participation. She did not get the best score for balance, hoping on 1 leg and a few other coordinated moves.

As I reflect, it could possibly be due to a phobia she still harboured or maybe she is just born with a personality that values being safe, careful and attempting all actions methodically. In attempting a flight of staircase, she would prefer to step one by one, instead of skipping a few in a daring jump. As parents, it helps to note this to make any remedial actions.

The chiropractor did a check on her spine and nerves and mentioned that there could be a slight disproportionate weight on one side of her body. According to him, this can affect the organ that is instrumental in achieving balance for the kid.

Nothing serious, but he did a few adjustments and said it should do the trick. While, I am not too hopeful, but believes that early intervention through observation of your child and encouraging them to play in the outdoors can improve many weaknesses for the best possible outcome.

(Photos show Haruka at her kindergarten, during a joint class performance and at the church Sunday School performance).

Tip 250: Running with your child

Most of us assume that kids love to play and run around. Yes they do. But, these days, they may not push their physical boundaries more than they could, considering the comfortable home they live in and the many attractive toys available at home. If we do not keep an eye on their physical fitness or provide motivations to enjoy the outdoors, they may begin to develop the habit of being less athletic or even be a couch potato.

We certainly can't expect all kids to be athletic. Part of it is in their genes. Another in their personality preferences. Yet, in today's modern lifestyle, are kids spending more time at home than in the outdoors? Do they find it too hot out in the sun or too tiring when it involves a little bit of running?

I was practising for a run and thought I would invite Haruka along at an enclosed field that is safe. While I outran her as I was keeping time, I kept watching her. It turned out quite productive. She did try her best to run fast and for quite a long distance which she usually wouldn't. When she was walking while taking a rest, she would observe the flowers around the field. She ran twice around the field, covering at least 1km in 30 minutes. I am proud of my 3 years old daughter as she joined me in my run a few times. She isn't too athletic by nature, but these activities together with dad can boost her esteem and keep her active.

(Photos show the girls at the Henderson Waves bridge that connect 2 parks making it an enjoyable nature trail, at the Jewel Box Mount Faber and me at the Osim 2011 Triathlon at Singapore).

Tip 249: Learning right/wrong early

It is amazing how innocent a baby is. They smile in their sleep so often. They have no worries or cares. Occasionally, they do of course cry for milk, but they have no concern whatsoever. Yet, I believe this begins to change when they begin to recognize their parents and develop an attachment towards them.

The baby's self identity begins to develop as they understand the concept of self and others, as well as the close family circle who cares for them more lovingly. Their curiosity develops and so will the ability to discern right and wrong. The first sense of right and wrong is when the baby decides what is the right or dangerous position to avoid pain or to enjoy comfort. The baby will try out different positions and learn its surroundings and understand its pain receptors. As they esteem their parents who feed them, they begin to attribute trust if their parents will further teach them how to enjoy more comfort or avoid danger.

The crucial window to teach right and wrong starts when the baby observes you and develops trust. This I believe can happen as early as 4 months old. The baby may not respond to any teaching, but they may remember. Start by teaching a body language for yes or of approval, such as by nodding your head and smile. For negative or undesirable behaviour, shake your head, frown or signal your finger or palm to demonstrate disapproval. Do this whenever you want to encourage or discourage a certain behaviour.

You can try it when the baby cries or when the baby wants to taste a certain food even if the baby seem not to understand. When you start using these body languages early, the baby will have already learnt them. When it comes to the time when the baby crawls, these body languages will be very useful to discourage the baby from going to certain areas. Or when the baby wants milk or food, they could express it to you by herself even if she does not speak yet.

I was pleasantly impressed one day when Sayaka at 6 months old, nods her head when she saw me eating a banana. By being able to express herself, her self esteem improves as she feels happy being able to communicate even without speaking or developing a vocabulary yet other than papa or mama.

She also begins to associate the word No as opposite to Yes, and would stop any undesirable behaviour slowly when I begin to express disapproval. When daddy can communicate with baby, it is the best feeling ever.

(Photos show the girls at a birthday party, scenes from the Singapore Art Museum and Sayaka's first mirror room experience there).