Tip 218: Helping daddy join contests

As Haruka grows past 2 years old, she is constantly seeking approval from daddy and mummy. She has understood the concept of work (shigoto in Japanese) and she wants to be as busy as daddy and mummy. She gets excited when minor chores are assigned to her as she feels important. She feels she is becoming more of an adult when she can do tasks that adults do.

In the photo above, I let Haruka be part of my contest participating activity. She peels the lucky draw cards that I have collected, takes the stickers out and passes them to me. It seems like an easy task, but it requires knowing how to peel and tear on a dotted line package. As she does it frequently, since I am sending many entries for this contest, she improves on it. It is Haruka who feels a sense of achievement while daddy gets free child labour.

Exposing a young child to adult activity can provide good learning experiences and a sense of pride and satisfaction in work. A child can learn from play, but they can also learn from doing house chores. Tomomi buys a child knife that can cut small items such as cucumbers and trains Haruka to assist in the kitchen. When I come back from grocery shopping with lots of bags to unload, I identify the items that Haruka can put into the fridge. When she does it often, she knows where those items should be and accomplishes the assignment instantly.

It does require some time to identify such minor chores. Also some patience to teach the young wannabe. Yet, its these priceless moments that Haruka appreciates spending time with daddy. When the relationship has such learning moments with daddy, it balances up the moments when Haruka feels unhappy when daddy lectures her to behave. It can be sad when daddy comes home from work only to lecture and scold the child each time, yet not have the time to teach patiently and gently guide the child. The child needs moments when daddy can be proud of her. I am now waiting for the moment when Haruka contributes to my winning contest entry. She can then be proud that the prize was her contribution.

(Photos show Haruka being proud of helping daddy with the Haagen Dazs Word Hunt contest

and the scene from the 31st floor of Standard Chartered Building when the Marina Bay Sands was still under construction. Contest lovers feel free to contact me about this contest and other contests.)

Tip 217: Know who the Best Friend is

Haruka has a new best friend. It is no longer Barney. Though, she would still enjoy a Barney & Friends program if it is on TV. Haruka's new best friend is Agumon. It is amazing how kids at just 2 years old can develop a sense of liking towards a particular TV character and have the interest to learn about such a character. Parents who know their kid's new best friend can understand better what motivates their kid and drive them to learn and play.














Agumon is a character from the Japanese TV cartoon/manga Digimon. There are possibly quite a few reasons why Haruka loves Agumon. Since age 2 years old, Haruka has decided her favorite colour is yellow. I have once asked her why she likes yellow, and she just tells me it is a beautiful colour. A baby may like a certain colour based on their experience of finding food of such a colour tasty or toys with such a colour a pleasure to play with.














Other reasons why Agumon is liked could be because of it being brave, relaxed and funny. Agumon possesses strength, yet does not seem to be too violent, ugly or threatening. At an age where Haruka is beginning to want to be independent, she looks up to such characters where boldness is matched with likeability.














Such knowledge always help dad to motivate the child towards accomplishing values and habits that are admirable. By learning more about the character, daddy can identify values of such a character and encourage the child to emulate those noble values.














Also, daddy can provide incentives for the child to be performing good habits such as finishing her meal or picking up her toys after play with a Digimon TV allowance or a trip to watch Digimon for free at a shopping mall.















Such motivation can be costly though. Being a thoughtful dad that I am, I thought it would be convenient to do my groceries at the shopping mall that provided gifts of Digimon water bottles. Then, I got myself in a sticky situation where the Agumon water bottle was out of stock and Haruka saw the promotion of the different types of water bottle available and yet she could not have the one with her best friend on it.














(Photos show Haruka at City Square Mall, Farrer Park to watch Digimon perform).

Tip 216: Never give up on life's challenges

It takes a dad to understand a dad's contribution. It is because only a dad would understand the burden and weight of expectations of a dad once he carries it himself. Sometimes the expectation is self-imposed. Nevertheless, the burden remains. Whether it is at home when interacting with wife and kids, or at work when managing work duties, or at the supermarket when managing the budget, or at the investment house when managing future cash flow, or at a government office to follow up on complaints for sustainable living, or at church, school or hospital when managing child's education and development, a dad faces numerous challenges each day. To appreciate a father, we need to weigh less on the outcome of a father's contributions, but to esteem the fact that the father is still running the race and have not given up on the challenges.



I watched a movie and remembered a quote. "Life is hard. Marriage is more difficult." It is true that with our unlimited wants and ambitions and towering expectations from our loved ones and society, life can only be hard. It is harder for some with limited abilities, talents and intelligence facing the risk of making wrong choices. Actually, it may be even harder for some who are blessed with more in life, the ability to dream dreams and want a better life as they would thus have higher mountains to climb which presents bigger challenges. The more knowledge of good and evil, the higher the chance to sin. Besides just performing duties, each of us are faced with fleeting temptations each day, natural disasters and dangerous people. It must be an achievement for any dad to raise their kids over two long decades considering the many sacrifices rendered.

It is father's day soon. A friend thanked me for my contributions on the blog. She said she was inspired reading them. But she could not take it upon herself to reconcile with her dad so soon. Each of us have different expectations of what a dad ought to do and be. I used to be the same. But now, as a dad myself, I realized that my kids ought to be thankful that I am still alive and have not given up on life. When we appreciate our fathers, we are in effect recognizing that life is hard. Someone gave up their own life to create another. Sometimes, this person may have failed in many of the ideal expectations of a dad. Yet, this person is still alive today and the kids are also growing up through the many contributions of this father. Any father have many weaknesses like all of us do. Yet, he pressed on and continued in the race to fulfil some of his duties, if not all. Who else can do that? Only a father who has some amount of love in his heart. Can we question the measure of a father's love, when no else have done the same? Thank you dad for not giving up on life's challenges.

(Photos show Haruka in numerous coin operated rides in Singapore. If only life is just a predictable ride that needs only a coin).

Tip 215: Coaxing new habits in a baby

I watched a program about animals and how they cared for their young. A baby seal was with the mother seal on the icy surface, already independently moving around without needing the warmth of the mother. The mother knows that this is the right time to teach the baby to swim in the icy cold water under the ice surface. A hole was made on the ice. The mother seal feels the cold water and dives into the water. Then, it surfaces to look for the baby. It made constant noise for the baby to follow her. Then, it pushes the baby into the cold water and follows it. This is natural parenting. The mother did not think that the baby can swim without persistent coaxing. How else will the baby learn to swim and search for food without her mother teaching it and patiently coaxing the baby the habits needed for survival and living? Who else will the baby learn from? Even if the animals live in packs, they would only follow after their mother. Of course, there are always instances where babies separate from their parents and is cared by another female in the pack, but such is out of the ordinary.














Society has progressed that we think kids can learn on their own. We think others can do the job of caring for our babies. Yet, kids learn best from their parents. Good habits need to be learnt early in childhood, or even while the baby is 1 or 2 years old. Habits such as keeping your toys after play, learning to wait patiently and silently while someone is making a phone call, sitting attentively and listening when others speak instead of playing and distracting other children, saying good morning to everyone even when you are not in the mood, greeting everyone when you enter the home and putting back your own shoes, giving thanks for the food before eating, taking pride in keeping busy such as reading or playing independently or helping mummy in kitchen, smiling when someone looks at you (if the person looks pleasant and safe), knowing what is safe and what is dangerous before doing something or going somewhere. The list goes on and yes, it can be learnt and practiced by a 2 year old. Children may learn all these things by themselves. Yet, if the parent can share them lovingly to the child, the habits stamp a more lasting impact in their lives. If we have time for them, we need not lose our patience and instruct them or scold them. We instead can patiently coax or motivate them to inculcate these values daily. If we feel our children are just not as obedient, then it is ever more a case to spend more time with them. The mother seal definitely would feel anxious if her baby is not learning how to swim. Children will definitely catch this earlier in childhood if they caught it from their parents, instead of from their maid or from their teachers at school. Teachers play an important role as children do look up to certain teachers. But, what if they are none that they look up to or if the children seem to adore TV characters more than exemplary caring adults around them. We, parents need to play that role. If the mother seal can do it due to her God given role, why can't us? Let's do it and make this world a better place.

(Photos show Haruka in Malaysia during the Chinese New Year holidays to visit her grandparents. An uncommon beautiful large well maintained park with wild monkeys at Taman Tun Dr. Ismail, Kuala Lumpur with aunt Oy Mooi who came back from USA and heading to Sabah for good and Haruka's first lion dance).

Tip 214: Enjoying weekly church routine

Haruka now looks forward to going to church. She would ask us at night whether she will be going to church tomorrow. I attribute this to a routine that we inculcate in her early that she enjoys following. Also, the role of caring teachers in the church that made Haruka feel happy going to the church.














From age 2 years old, children begin to develop preferences and routines that they enjoy sticking to. For instance, they may be unhappy if their parents do not read to them at night, if such a routine has been started. The babies have discovered that they can decide which are the activities to fill their lives. They discovered the power of saying no and the power of saying "please, papa". They begin to value certain food and certain activities more than others. Yet, it is at an early age at 1 year old, that they developed these preferences and how to value the different experiences in their lives. Hence, exposing kids early to praise worth activities, healthy food and noble deeds can yield good returns in the future.


















I observe the kids around me. As they grow up, they may prefer to stay home to play playstation or computer games. They may prefer to not step out of the comfort of their homes to go to church. They may find Sunday School and church boring as they may not have developed an appreciation of such activity and not enjoyed a church routine.














Hence, parents play a role to develop such a love in their kids early. Hopefully, this love will continue to blossom such that the foundation will never be shaken should the child is exposed with other competing pleasures and wants in this world, as well as when the child moves to a new place where such familiarity and routines are different.














I thank Mariko Tanzawa-sensei for being caring for all her students in her class. Haruka looks up to her for teaching her every week. She mentions the teacher's name at home and I am sure her stories will continue in length as she becomes more and more talkative and spends more time to reflect on her past day as she grows up.














It is not easy for daddy to find a church that would suit mummy and baby. It is probably less important for daddy to find a church that fits him as he feels happy as long as the whole family is well grounded in a weekly church routine. I thank God that He has given me a strong foundation in my youth, so I can lead my family to do the same.














(Photos show Haruka practicing as a sheep in a Christmas play and a Kid's party/camp at church member's condo on labour's day holiday)

Tip 213: Regular exercises at playground

Like adults, babies and kids need to exercise. We assume our kids are usually active and running around when we are not with them. We assume they have full of energy and is so youthful like we were when we were much younger. Yet, kids these days may prefer to watch the TV, watch youtube on the Internet on our computers, draw and write, read their books or simply play their toys at the comfort of the home. Even if they go to kindergarten or play school or to the babysitters, there is no guarantee that they are interested to run around and play. They may prefer to sit at the side and watch others run under the sun or simply stay indoors. It may seem unnecessary to be in control of our child's activities all the time. We assume they will develop an interest later for activities that most kids their age will enjoy. Yes, they would. But, it is also necessary for parents to keep a close eye on their kids physical and athletic
development. There is a role for parents to motivate their kids and expose them to the different types of play and exercises. Probably, boys may develop their own sense of play and exercises better than girls. Hence, a dad needs to show his daughter how to climb and how best to utilize the different facilities at the playground. For instance, when Haruka was playing at the slide, I just needed to suggest to her that she can put her hands on the railingand swing. She tried it out and enjoyed it. Sometimes, some of the facilities requires climbing and Haruka is unsure if she can do it. She is unsure of how to step certain climbing railings. I guide her legs and hands when I encourage her to climb. I stand behind her to catch her if she loses a grip. Or I do it in front of Haruka like a big daddy monkey and gives Haruka a glimpse of how it can be done. It is up to her if she takes up my challenge to do it. Else, I will wait for her to gather enough courage to do it at her next play time. What if daddy was not there? I think it will be less motivating and less supportive for Haruka to do her own exercises. Our presence do make a difference. Some kids may be more independent and creative than others. Some kids may depend on our presence to guide them to make the most of the facilities, toys and books around them to learn and maximize their full potential.

(Photos show Haruka at her first hand swing exercise at 2 years old with daddy clapping at the background)

Tip 212: Kids stage shows at malls

It is amazing that these days, you can bring your kids to stage shows of their favourite cartoon or kids program character such as Barney or Spongebob. It can even be a free 30 minute show event at a shopping mall holding a sales event to attract shoppers to their shopping mall simply to entertain their kids. Most of the time, these shopping malls will not restrict entrance to kids to watch the shows for free. Some malls may have priority seating or photo taking with the characters if you purchase a certain shopping amount. But, this is still so much cheaper than a paid USD$80 ticket to a 2-3 hour show that the kid will find too long anyway. Why waste the money when you can get it for free?














As parents, we sacrifice the luxury of watching stage shows or cinema movies, especially if we have few people to depend on to babysit our kids. This is mostly true if you are living abroad, far away from family or even is new to a place and is unsure of how to locate reliable and trustworthy babysitters.














When I was at London, I was so looking forward to catch a musical theatre of Phantom of the Opera or Cats. But, kids under 12 years old were not permitted. We were even looking out for stage shows that were suitable for kids and even then, most shows were only open for kids above 4-6 years old.














Such kids shows do increase the curiosity, imagination and ambition of a child. To a certain extent, it does expand their wants list and daddy is trying now to teach Haruka to be content and patient. At a young age, if the kids are exposed to the variety of possible shows and fun they can see face to face, their concept of reality expands and they will dream bigger dreams. I tell Haruka to dance well since SpongeBob was giving out free souvenirs to kids who raise their hands up and dance. She did not win anything that day, but now she has a higher motivation to learn new skills everyday.













(Photos shot around Christmas 2009 showing the family at a free photo session with free printed photos of SpongeBob Squarepants and friends from the Bikini Bottom at my office building mall during lunch, Astro Boy/Mighty Atom and Uran at a shopping mall catered for Japanese shoppers; and Barney and Friends singing all the favourites that Haruka was singing along and relating to the character names she knows well).

Tip 211: Apply for something & document your life

I just had time to relax after a busy day filling forms. That's the life of a daddy who runs the family abroad and relocates his beloved wife and daughter from their familiar territory. I guess I can't complain too much as my daughter is growing up well and mummy is taking good care of her. I just finished documenting all of the information I have entered in the forms I filled earlier into my personal library. I looked into my folders and see tonnes of scanned documents in folders named Malaysia, Japan, Hong Kong and Singapore. All of this forms part of my wealth of experience and knowledge. It defines my life. I reflect back and can only attribute this to the act of applying. It can be for a new job, a university course, a contest, a home loan, a scholarship or even for entry into a country.














Only by applying, will you seek for information and if you are diligent like me, you could document them. Then, the next time, a form requires you to answer your Student ID and addresses of all your universities, or your previous company addresses and salary amounts, or your children birthcert numbers, you have them all ready. Unlike some, I never need to go back to search for my passport for its expiry date because I have them all at my finger tips.














I can say that I am quite an application guru now. To a certain degree, applications can cause some stress when you have not established a base where you started gathering information since young. For instance, do you keep information about your vaccination history during childhood on the types and dates of vaccination? The less you have tracked since the start of your education, the more likely it may haunt you one day when you start making applications.















We live in a mobile world these days and different countries have different information requirements we thought unlikely. Even if we do not start documenting our own life records, we may want to do that for our children to keep thorough records of everything. Or would we want to disappoint our grandchildren one day simply because we are not as savvy in keeping track with our life records and unable to stay with our children to care for their children? :)














Ok, I do think too far ahead for my age. Its hard to suddenly start documenting. As mentioned, make more attempts to apply for something. It can be for a new credit card, an exam for a new language or a new club association if we think that further education and migration are for the adventurous. It is because when we do start applying, our life grows and it may never stop growing as we document and reflect whenever possible. Of course, God is behind our every longing to grow as we seek after His grace in such applications.














(Photos show Haruka sitted at a sofa at church having her photo taken by pastor Keigo Ohtani, her latest fan and second photo showing Haruka with sunglasses at the Marina at Keppel Bay, and next along Clarke Quay riverside admiring a cute dog and being admired by the dog's owner).