Tip 242: Write by handholding

When teaching a child, we debate whether we want to allow the child to discover their own style and preferences, or we should guide them each step of the way. Sometimes, the child learns to be obstinate to refuse learning, or begins to express the desire to be independent. If the child does not learn, is it due to the teaching method of the parent and more effort is needed in encouragement and guiding patiently? Or should we let time decide if the child will learn by his or herself?














Haruka has been taking an interest in colouring for the past few months. She would show me the colouring she did in Sunday School. It is just plain scribbling all over the place. Then, one day, I decided to explain to her how to colour neatly within the boundaries of the picture. Initially, she would not understand the need to do it. Then, I said the magic word. I said if she coloured beautifully, her teacher would praise her and gave her incentives.














She began to put more effort to think about her colouring and how to improve. I spent one afternoon colouring with her. I coloured a picture beautifully, and she saw the difference between my work and hers. I coloured the whole page and slowly coloured different objects with the right colours. After a while, she did the same and begin to decide which colour would suit a particular picture. From my guiding initially, Haruka began to make her own decisions and would then insist her colour sense is right. My job is quite finished.














Now and then, when I see her colouring, I still point to her how she can improve. I would show areas where her colouring is not as neat and even. She understands now the concept of colouring and would agree with me. It may take a while before Haruka improves. It may be necessary for me to supervise her more and practice together with her if I want it to be a work of art. But, at least now, she has an idea of how a beautiful colouring can be.














She comes back from kindergarten with a page of homework on weekends. This requires tracing the dots of alphabets. Most children aged 3 years old would still not have a steady hand at writing. Her grip on the pencil would either be too soft or she would not understand the instructions of the homework and follow the correct strokes. Once, she even coloured the page instead of writing the alphabets. I doubt teachers these days would sit down with the child and slowly guide them. The most they would do is to spend 5-10 minutes to provide instructions on how to do it.














Hence, the need for daddy to spend time with Haruka to explain the strokes and hold her hand. I realized that it may take more than one afternoon to ensure she writes the alphabets correctly. But, so far, I have guided her with a few pages of her homework. Singapore education must be very intense and a daddy from church shared that he spends a lot of evenings with her children who are in primary school. I hope I can do my part in the future, but for now, I will just hold her hand while my daughters let me.














(Photos show an afternoon at the Istana in Singapore with my mother in law, on a public holiday where it is opened to the public - though not for golfing).